To be 100% honest,
No. I am not getting better.

I am getting worse.

I've been waking up to see that my closet light is on. I turn it off before bed, and my dad says he doesn't turn it on when he wakes me up. WTF

Sometimes...

I want to scream until my lungs collapse. I want to cry until I pass out. I want to sleep for so long that I can't remember who I am. I want to run until my heart explodes. I want to punch until my hands are bloody and bruised. I want to kick until my feet are numb. I want to clench my fists until they drip red. I want to hold my breath until my face turns a brilliant purple.

I want to break all your bones. I want to punch out your teeth. I want to bend your arm until it snaps. I want to throw stuff at your stupid face.

And then, right before I lose it, I remind myself

that isn't me

I'm not this girl.

Who is this angry girl? Where did she come from?

I'm so scared that one day, she'll breach my surface

And find a way to cause all this pain

on me

on you

on everyone.

Can I stop her?

I'm sorry

This girl is me.

Konichiwa~

I'm learning Japanese :3 that's like the most common word people know, haha, so I probably seem like some n00b right now. I'm trying to understand the grammar and sentence structure of it as well, not just words and phrases.

Umm, tomorrow is homecoming!! ♥ I'm going with Victor, duhh, and it's going to be so fantastic! I'm suuuper excitedddd! ^3^

Everything is going pretty good lately. I'm happy(: There have been a few days I missed my medication, and I could definitely tell the difference, but other than that it's been good!

I don't really have much to say...haha. Erm, I got a Tumblr. But I'm not quite sure what the hell to do with it, haha. I have enough social sites (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube). Okay, only three. I used to have Myspace but I deleted that shit. I think? o.o I can't recall...

Been obsessed with Say Anything lately. I guess that's all I have to say today. Haha. I totally had some hardcore post all thunked up, and now my mind is completely blank >,>

So see ya! Ooh, Sunday night, I'll tell you kids how perfect homecoming was :)

xoxo

well HELLO!

Hey guys! I haven't really typed up anything in a while...hehe. So I'll post some crap nowww! ^o^
Well, school started (duh). My classes are pretty good. Nobody ever talks, in any of my classes! Well, okay, except for like, Geometry, but that's because I have all the loud people in that class. (: And tutorial, because I have pretty obnoxious loud people in that class as well. freaking hate my Latin class. Not specifically because of the people, but because of Ms. Staley. Jeez, she's like 300 years old! And she never has the lights on in her room! She's like a corpse or something. A character from True Blood?

On another note, Victor and I are doing quite fantastic♥(: It has almost been one year since we first went out. I decided I'm going to save up my allowance for about a month, so I'll have about...$150 to take Victor out to dinner on Halloween! (: Yes, that is the day we hung out for the first time. I had nothing to do on Halloween, so he asked me to go to the movies, and we saw The Stepfather. I kept the ticket...♥ Sigh. He's so freakin adorable. I love that boy ;)

Ooh, ooh! I also made new friends :3 I met this girl, Gabby, a few weeks ago. She's so cutee, teehee. She's into anime and like almost all the same music and stuff. Plus she has a pet snake, named Nigel, who's just as cute xD Then there's Tristan; he's so cool (: He loves everybody, haha, but that just makes him awesome. He's super tall though, so it's awkward for a shawty like me to hug him ^o^
There's more people, but I'm a bit bored right now of blogging. :P So Imma goo!

Oh, one more thing. If anyone on here plays Gaia, feel free to add meeee! (;

Click this to see my Gaia profile!

kthnxbai o.o

xoxo