Saturday, June 5, 2010

too depressed to blog?!

Well, for all of you that know me personally know that Victor broke up with me, 8 days ago. It was probably the hardest thing I've gone through. I didn't eat for days, I didn't smile, I didn't sing, all I did for 15 hours was cry and lay in bed.
I know you all probably want to know why, but there honestly were multiple reasons (so he says). I really do not want to get into it over this blog, so please, don't ask me why. You may be concerned, and want to help me feel better, but it really doesn't help when I talk about it all the time.
I'm trying so, so, soo hard to stay friends with him. But you know what it's like, trying to be friends with someone just a week after they completely broke your heart and turned your world upside down. Oh, you don't? Then you're lucky. You don't want to know what it feels like.
I'm not crying as much anymore, and I am eating a little better. I was planning on making a YouTube video tonight, another cover of "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz or something. So yes, I'm doing better in the sense that my friends have helped me see that there still is reason to live.
Thank God for medication, because I honestly think without it, I'd be dead now. No lie. The first 3 days were the absolute hardest. It's also extremely difficult to see him in school, but I'm trying really hard to be friends. I want him in my life, even if it's just a friendship.
So I just wanted you crazy kids to know what I'm going through at this moment, and why I haven't posted anything new in a week. I needed some time to get myself together, you hear?!
But I'm better now, you all better be expecting some new exciting posts and videos on my YouTube! :)
xoxo

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