day one.

summer school isn't as bad as I thought it would be. the principal wears pants that are too big. my english 9 honors class is pretty small, only about 12 people. everyone is okay, I guess. I don't plan on making any friends, though. I just want to get through this as fast as possible. I have Mr. Scaltz!! for those of you who know who he is, he's freakin awesome haha. I didn't know that a teacher from my school would volunteer for this. but thankfully, he did! I'm sort of excited. Scaltz likes to perform magic tricks for us in class, haha. sort of weird, but it keeps things interesting. he also loves listening to metal. I think that's pretty sweet. lunch is soo boring. I intended on sitting alone, but as soon as I sat down alone at the farthest table, like 10 black guys sat down on the other side. it was a little awkward at first, but I quietly ate my granola bar, and all was good. it doesn't even feel like a 5-hour class. we get a 20 minute lunch break after about three hours of class, but it feels like only 30 minutes of class. two more hours after that, and then we go home! best part: Scaltz doesn't give us homework. we get the opportunity to finish it all in class! (:
until tomorrow,
xoxo

FML. to the max

Summer school starts tomorrow. Oh joy.
I was at a party for my youth group today, and we had to leave really early because my sister thinks she broke her wrist when she fell off of the water slide. I was having so much fun, playing Rock Band with Cameron and John? I forgot his name, haha I'm sorry.
My summer is going to suck.

good (?) morning

YES!! I turned the tv on and Law & Order: SVU is on right now. SCORE!
Haha, it's been a good morning so far. Minus the temperature and stale cereal. And there was like a Jehovah's Witness at our door at like 9 AM. Stupid old lady.
I wanna go home. There's not much to do around here. It's like a retirement community, haha. The only things here are boats and hoes.
Sike, just boats.
And ice cream :)

futurama is such an awesome show.

season premiere of Futurama right now! haha. I'm in Rock Hall, with the family. Sigh, I hate this place. I brought my guitar though, I went down to play it on the beach. I got like 12 bug bites though, in just 10 minutes haha. It was pretty terrible.
It's soooooo freakin hot down here. Holy crap.
Wow this show just got so confusing haha. Fry made a robot of Leela. But it turns out that Fry was a robot too. And then a cyclops-eater ate Bender cause one of his eyes fell out. But then Bender blows up and everyone's all happy. :)
Well it's almost 11:00, and I'm tired as hell. So I shall type more later, goodnight!
xoxo

so scared...

And it starts sometime around midnight
or at least that's when you lose yourself
for a minute or two

As you stand under the barlights
and the band plays some song
about forgetting yourself for a while
and the piano is this melancholy soundtrack
to her smile
And that white dress she's wearing
you haven't seen her for a while

But you know that she's watching
She's laughing, and turning
and holding her tonic like a cross
The room's suddenly spinning
as she walks up and asks how you are
so you can smell her perfume
you can see her lying naked in your arms

And so there's a change in your emotions
and all of these memories come rushing
like feral waves to your mind
of the curl of your bodies
like two perfect circles entwined
So you feel hopeless, and homelss
and lost in the haze of the wine

Then she leaves with someone you don't know
But she makes sure you saw her
she looks right at you and bolts
As she walks out the door
your blood boiling and your stomach in ropes
and your friends say what is it,
you look like you've seen a ghost

Then you walk under the streetlights
and you're too drunk to notice
that everyone is staring at you
You just don't care what you look like,
the world is falling around you

You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You know that she'll break you in two.

why.

I finally found the perfect guy. Smart, funny, sexy, romantic, everything I want in a guy. A guy I put my complete trust into. I could act like a total dumbass around him and not care, because I knew he would always love me no matter how stupid I look. A guy who thinks I'm beautiful every day, even at my worst. He was the first person in my life to inspire me in any way. I became a better person because of him.

And I have to go and fuck it up.

Go ahead, tell me I'm not the stupidest person on the planet. Try to convince me.

how.

How did I get myself into this mess.
How come I never learn from my mistakes.
How is it that I always make such terrible mistakes.
How come I can't be happy for more than a few weeks at a time.
How does everything alwAYS TURN OUT WRONG.
HOW DID CAPS LOCK JUST TURN ON.

Slogan game! :)

I'm sitting here, munchin on some hazelnut Pirouettes (which, I may add, are freakin AMAZING). And I'm like, hmm. The slogan for Trix cereal is really weird. So I Google a bunch of other slogans, and found this little test-like thingy. See if you guys can guess all the company names! :) I passed! haha.

1- Fifteen minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.
2- It's waaay better than fast food. It's ___________!
3- Are you in good hands?
4- I'm lovin' it!
5- It's what makes a ________ a ____________.
6- 800-588-2300, _______ Today!
7- Have it your way.
8- We're known for the money you keep.
9- Mmmmm Toasty Toasty.
10- Your world. Delivered.
11- Ask about it at work.
12- The quilted, quicker picker-upper.
13- Choosy moms choose ____.
14- Don't get mad. Get _____.
15- We answer to a higher authority.
16- Silly rabbit, ____ are for kids!
17- Kid tested. Mother approved.
18- Let's build something together.
19- Go meat!
20- The best stuff on earth just got better.
21- Persnickety people. Exceptional cheese.

too depressed to blog?!

Well, for all of you that know me personally know that Victor broke up with me, 8 days ago. It was probably the hardest thing I've gone through. I didn't eat for days, I didn't smile, I didn't sing, all I did for 15 hours was cry and lay in bed.
I know you all probably want to know why, but there honestly were multiple reasons (so he says). I really do not want to get into it over this blog, so please, don't ask me why. You may be concerned, and want to help me feel better, but it really doesn't help when I talk about it all the time.
I'm trying so, so, soo hard to stay friends with him. But you know what it's like, trying to be friends with someone just a week after they completely broke your heart and turned your world upside down. Oh, you don't? Then you're lucky. You don't want to know what it feels like.
I'm not crying as much anymore, and I am eating a little better. I was planning on making a YouTube video tonight, another cover of "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz or something. So yes, I'm doing better in the sense that my friends have helped me see that there still is reason to live.
Thank God for medication, because I honestly think without it, I'd be dead now. No lie. The first 3 days were the absolute hardest. It's also extremely difficult to see him in school, but I'm trying really hard to be friends. I want him in my life, even if it's just a friendship.
So I just wanted you crazy kids to know what I'm going through at this moment, and why I haven't posted anything new in a week. I needed some time to get myself together, you hear?!
But I'm better now, you all better be expecting some new exciting posts and videos on my YouTube! :)
xoxo